Originally Published: March 28, 2018. momcilog/E+/Getty . When you say, "I'm proud of you," you may actually be simply rejoicing in another. Facebook: Please join us on our Facebook page for a mix of articles on children and parenting. That is why a long-term mentor can also feel pride. Whatever influence we had on the person, or information we gave the person, what they did with it is their accomplishment not ours. When you respond to someones words of admiration with gratitude, youre showing that you value and respect them. Grandparents And Grandchildren: Observations From A Parent In-Between. This will show your appreciation for their support and will help to strengthen your relationship. And do you really mean that you are damned impressed with your friend for her achievement? Gun owners are more likely than non-gun owners to know someone who has been shot (51% vs. 40% of non-owners). that he harrassed them or . Is it a parent speaking to a child, for instance, or a friend to a friend? Never downplay the way you feel about someone's abilities and effort. In other words, I care so much about the other person, that their accomplishment can evoke pride in ME. I am proud of them for being like this with one another. (thanks to TK and Andy for helping think this through.). What Does It Mean When Someone Says I'm Proud Of You? Better than nothing, Neil, but its sad, Mr. Rogers had to do what parents ought to be doing. There are some super special and engaging responses you can give when someone very close to you, says that theyre proud of you. The most important thing is to show your appreciation and gratitude for their words. Basically, its an ambiguous expression. Happy I did it, finally! 9. In what context. Do you think if they didn't mean it they would say it? The words hit me like a . "Be proud of your scars. Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling. But some of us never heard the expression in our lives till we were adults. And black adults (57%) are more likely than whites (43%) or Hispanics (42%) to know someone who falls into . But, it can also be a bit overwhelming because it puts the spotlight on us and can make us feel exposed. Overall, its reserved for people who you trust and respect. By accepting the compliment and reflecting on your qualities, you may feel more satisfied in life. 4. 8. Sometimes people use it to appropriate the achievements of others, which is a sad and awful thing. The Proud Boys ' anger toward Mr. Trump has heightened after he did nothing to help those in the group who face legal action for the Capitol violence. 0. The administrator suggests obtaining professional advice on any concerns (including medical or psychological) the reader may hold regarding their children, themselves, or others. (My answer might surprise you. Self-doubt can make it hard to accept compliments and to express gratitude for the words of others. In this sense, a mentor is a parent that you choose, and the desire for his or her love and approval is as natural as the desire for that of a parents pride. Believe me when I tell you that it is not meant so kindly elsewhere. All Rights Reserved. Pretty much an entire generation of American kids heard it from Mr. Rogers. Pause before responding. Your friend wants to say "I am proud of you too, my friend". The first time I remember hearing it said to me (though I'm sure there were times before the instance I'm describing . You cannot be proud of anything you were born with, only with what you achieve. This is a noble endeavor. I again said. Thank you so much for this great compliment. 1. But, what would be the better ways to respond to I am proud of you other than just saying thank you. I'm so proud of your painting!" Please contact
[email protected] for further information. After reading these posts, I think the following: a person will feel pride in anothers accomplishment when they feel deeply connected with the other. A special note on research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you" prevents future mental illness and suicidal ideation in their children. You could feel annoyed and put out. This mindset will help you achieve your goals, too. And they both say that you're over and done with me. Maybe some people act in a way that makes you upset they're doing that on behalf of your country, but you just remember that's not the reason you're proud to be from where you are. I googled a sentence on this topic to see if anyone had written on it (hoping they had). I do not believe that parents need to say "I'm proud of you" to show their support of, and their emotional connection to, their child. Luke 18:9-14 ESV / 5 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful That makes you a living miracle. As a friend I want you to know that I am so proud of you. I use the other terms like Im so happy for you. You are taking joy in someone else doing good. Yeah, If grandpa was here, he would have said the same. Rather, relationship skills where we communicate respectfully by listening, by positive I-Messages, by problem solving with our child, will help ensure our children feel connected and valued, and provide our children with a sense of emotional safety. JavaScript is disabled. "I know you have a lot going on . 7. 10. She states I always tell someone I am proud of them. Thank you so much! 13. "), Parent: "Im proud that you got all As in your school report/won that tennis trophy", How might you feel as the child? Consequently I now cringe every time I hear the term being used out of context . It can also help to show appreciation to others and can help to create stronger relationships. I say it often to former students. My friends tell me that rather often so like once every month or so, which I think is a lot, if you say it more often you'll take it for granted for sure. Last week, I went back to my college homecoming without my wife. This will help to build your self-esteem and will help you to feel more confident. I just graduated with my degree in hospitality." "Oh, a future barista," says the other guest, swirling his drink. 1. Oh, thank you, friend. relationship advice marriage advice Women love advice. Let me tell you why. I had an experience where a friend, who I consider in every way my equal, noticed that I made a healthy food choice (not that I didnt before, but I think its the first time he noticed) and he said, Oh Im so proud of you!. . 15. It's nothing bad or unusual. Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be. 11. You have always been there for me and our friendship is something that will never go away. We laughed a lot and re-lived some old memories. Aw yeah, yeah, yeah. the person who says that is actually talking about themselves, not about me, and by saying that is drawing the recognition away from me towards themselves. 5. Future Planet. It means that in their eyes you have come a long way from a place you began. You are happy they are an ambassador for you. Totally the sort of thing that deserves a fist to the nose. 25. If a homeless guy on the street (lower status) or Bill Gates (don't know him personally) tell me they're proud of me it won't have a huge positive effect. Lost Index. The Mindset of the Ambitious Educational Elite, Thinking Clearly about a Persons Substance Amidst Stylistic Differences, On Intentionally Vague, Mystique-Infused Explanations of Talent, Book Notes: Lost & Found by Kathryn Shulz, Mindfulness of Consciousness Meditation Retreat. Take the compliment, give her a big hug and a kiss and tell her "I'm proud of myself as well" and "Thank you". Continually acting to seek the approval of a parent is onerous for a child. Ive been totally using that word all wrong sheesh, all the complaints about the misuse of the word makes me feel bad about what and how I been addressing my peers and friends. When someone says Im proud of you, they are expressing their admiration, respect, and gratitude for something you have done. Ive had multiple people tell me theyre proud of me like my parents, grandparents, elders but it just doesnt mean anything to me, I dont have any emotional response from any of them and my response ends up being ok or yup. But worse, my friend thanked them. Just think of The Sixth Sense, where the son tells his mother that his dead grandmother wanted her daughter to know that the answer to her unspoken question was Every day., His mother begins to cry, and he asks her, What did you ask grandma, and she replies through her tears, Are you proud of me?. Bless me that I keep doing bigger things than this. When someone says Im proud of you, first of all thanking them is the common response we usually have. When I tell my kids Im proud they are surprised and pleased. They may start to see their parent as being insincere, or even manipulative. http://pbskids.org/rogers/songLyricsImProudOfYou.html. Here subject and object are the same person. As parents, it's important to stay calm and resist the urge to blame our kids or anyone else, really for our emotions. Someone elses pride in you does not usually translate to pride in yourself. Yes, I think this is why my friend, even though older, was proud of me, I felt was being presumptious to put herself above me. The other three sound as if you're saying you're proud of yourself too. Often the 'I'm proud of you' I get from strangers includes an unwanted and inappropriate familiarity, a hug a bit too long or a bit too hard, a knowing look and more emphasis on the 'I' than the 'you' in the 'I . Why is your manager taking credit for the work you put into the report? Id opt for saying, Im happy for you. Thats why its important to take their words seriously and to respond in a meaningful way. ". If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too". So we arranged to have her drive to the hotel where I was staying and we drove there together. "A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you." - C.S Lewis 2. Some years ago I attended a parenting seminar, where the speaker incidentally mentioned avoiding the phrase "Im proud of you". It says, I love you so much that YOUR accomplishment can make ME feel pride. Let them know that you are grateful for their support and that you appreciate their words. Im so glad to hear that. stories on the Parent Skills website are posted only as opinion or ideas, and are general in nature. Paul urged his young companion Timothy to be "a worker who does not need to be ashamed" (2 Timothy 2:15). By Ben Collins and Brandy Zadrozny. I have never said to my children, I am proud of you. My reason is that thry are responsile for their successes and I shoudnt take any credit for it. Achieving your goals will help you stay motivated, inspire you to set and achieve more, and increase confidence. 2014, 2016, 2019. It's a pleasure to congratulate you on this lovely moment. The key words (for this discussion) are creditable to oneself. Proud Boys chairman Enrique Tarrio poses with a Proud Boys member at a rally in Delta Park in Portland, Oregon, on September 26, 2020. They can be in dictionaries but over time can have slightly different meanings depending how they are used. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. Lets see where we can go with this. The Obama campaign needs to walk this one back and pronto. Do you mean you are also proud of yourself or that you are proud of the other person? But, when you want to make your responses more effective and special, these are some good ways to do it. Kids also like to know that they invoke parental prideas long as it genuine! Notify me of follow-up comments by email. This is 20 years ago, and I still remember this moment. 2. A strong argument is a solid one. I was excited to see your reaction. Lets look at some examples (followed by some suggested alternatives) adult first, then child, to help illustrate this point: Manager: "Im proud of the report youve written". Whatever I did, I just did it for our friendship, Bro. He may not have been able to think of something better or funny so he settled for that. It felt great, and as he falls into both of the categories above, was fully appreciated. This expression is much more self-focused, i.e. I dont think there is a neutral position. Ive been waiting for a long time to give you this surprise! I think children want simply to be accepted and respected as themselves. I am in awe of your talent and accomplishments. (a short read). Benjamin Franklin Positive, Forgiveness, Respect 985 Copy quote For what? Last Updated on February 28, 2023 by Ketan. Those of us who were brought up around this attitude are understandably wary of the phrase, and likely to avoid it. It is arrogant. Thanks for making us proud. Better Responses 2023. Is it OK to respond to "I am proud of you" with "Me to", "So do I", and "I am too", and "I am proud of you too"? It remains condescending and arrogant. It can be something big or something small it doesnt matter, because the phrase is used to show their appreciation for your efforts and accomplishments. I am so lucky to have you in my life and your . This has always happened, but in a context like the current one, in which both rivalry and appearances are highly valued elements, it is very common for this class of individuals, educated to become this way, to appear. So - when a parent says, "Im so proud of you", is the parent taking the credit for the childs accomplishments? If that's the case, I suggest a change of phrase. But this will be seen as an overreaction. 2. "I'm so proud of you" In this sentence, "proud" being translated to is absolutely right, and is also OK. They may find it difficult to take pride in who they are and what they have achieved. "I'm proud of you" is often associated with mentor-mentee relationships, something that a teacher or parent might say. Youre the first person who is happy with it. Thanks for all the interresting comments and opinions on how people use the phrase Im proud of you. Powered by WordPress. The insiders felt they were all superior to newcomers, no matter what the newcomers backgrounds were. Well, that means they're impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all others, charity. Imperfect, striving, playful, loving, learning. If Your Partner Ever Says These 20 Things, You Should Break Up. And, that nearest person could be your parents, partner, or friends. We learn from every step we take. 3. Family Tree. For even more than mentors, but for people who deserve your care and attention in life. you see the work of your close friend and you tell him "I am proud of you". Image used under license from Shutterstock, Larissa Dann. And guess what? Also, theyre proud of you, when you do something like your family has been doing or you did something way greater or different than anyone in your family so far. To try to sum this up, I mrried and ended up in a small, isolated village filled with people who either did not graduate high school or barely achieved that level of schooling. Taking a few deep breaths can help you focus. I drove home and when I got home I texted her that I had arrived home safely. Maybe instead of telling me hes proud of me, like its such a surprise, maybe he should have just offered to do the dishes. No, I am more proud of you, too. I was actually kicked out of my house at 16 by her and her new husband and had financial trouble during my years in school that she had contributed to, how in the hell can she be proud of me when all she did was hinder me?