Most of these illnesses stem from abandonment rejection abuse maybe we should go back to asylums. So I crumpled and grabbed a couple bags of clothes and left like she demanded. You will find hope in small things and within yourself. someone whos been through abuse or bullying, What to do when your husband or wife abandons you, speaking with a mental health professional, acsjournals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdfdirect/10.1002/cncr.24577, proquest.com/openview/4bd906a16b2a72068a059378348fb0c1/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=41641, How to Let Go of Past Hurts: 8 Ways to Move On, Podcast: Resiliency, Passion, and Trauma Recovery, Podcast: Working Moms and Self-Care with Brooke Burke, Podcast: The Latest Research to Live Happily Ever After, Podcast: Is Media Reporting on Mental Illness Fair? From a third person view the situation looks as if a woman knew she was going to make that decision and did not have the courage to tell her husband in person . When your partner is depressed it may be very difficult to get clarity on this. Military will have his butt for Infidelity. I am devastated as only a few month ago we celebrated valentines day He got me a ipad3 took me to a nice hotel bed and bathroom full of rose paddles. my wife is never contented with the marriage and she keeps packing even with no good reason leaving the kids behind.the other day i had visited her she told me that i shld train to stay without her because she can leave me and get married 2 another man.i have really sacrificed 4 the good survival of this marriage bt i just feel that the push has come 2 shove and its the high time i let it go 4 the sake of my life ,assist please, Thank you for your comment, Paul. The pain cant be explained in words. Two days later I went and begged for another chance.she said yes and we spent what I thought was a day filled with renewed spirit, touching holding talking. You can follow her on Instagram here. That lasted for 6 months and she then moved to her own apartment, the entire time stating that she didnt know what she wanted. Hope youre finding a healthy way to pass the time and keep it great for you. She is also ready to date a friend who I had welcomed into my home. Though I miss him and would love for him to be at home with us, he refuses to get psychological help Therefore, I believe its better hes gone. She did move back in with me, but only for a short time, 4 months, and then she moved out again to the same relative. I think its midlife crisis. People snap. Of course, feelings change over the course of a marriageyou are not going to have those sparks flying like you did when you first met. You will be fine. Come to find out, there have been several items packed and taken from the home. If you dont nurture your marriage it will wither and die. Part of the reason was because he was working too much and I was left to take care of the children while dealing with my emotional issues. I had two children who needs to complete their dreams. Any advice? May God bless us with someone who really loves us and cares about us. We lived in Florida for 12 years and he missed his family, parents, brothers, etc. Now grab that bull by its horns and take a stand!!! Part of me wants him to come Home and tell me you made a big mistake. She promised she was done . Insert sarcasm lol. And you cant necessary believe everything she says. I guess working 2 jobs and taking care of the kids and the house. The unfortunate truth is unless two people are willing to work on a marriage it will never work. She has made a huge mistake and she will have to deal with that and the hurt she has caused you and your children for the rest of her life. My doctors didnt know how to help me. The night we separated he told me . It caused me to have a heart attack, literally. Spousal Abandonment Syndrome is when one of the spouses leaves the marriage without any warning, andusually-without having shown any signs of unhappiness with the relationship. Research has also found that of the couples who felt their marriage was in serious danger of ending but who stayed the course anyway, over 80+ percent of them wound up feeling very glad that they didnt get divorced. He said he no longer loved me and couldnt to it anymore. Im going through the same thing youre going through. Thanks i also have a lot of trouble because i want him back and love him very much. I said no to moving out because a) I sole own the house and sole was paying the mortgage and B) I thought her behaviour was erratic and odd for the months leading up to her moving out plus I was getting fed up of rolling over to her whims. 5. 1. Maybe you want to place your studies on hold for awhile or get your family involved to temporarily help yout. We are now 10 months after the filing and he has left again, stating he is trying to get his head straight. I have faith in you and hopefully me reaching out will help show while there is real evil, there is real good in the world. I threw myself into my work to keep my mind occupied, and although I was present for my son Noah, I wasnt present in myself. Blog. Because if you still love your spouse, what you really need is a plan of attack to mend your marriage. Leave them alone. She was afraid to tell u sooner prob cause she was afraid it would make u mad. Not fighting doesn't mean you don't care about your marriage. She totally cut me off and is seeing other people. Oh well, f$%# her! These are really dated terms. It is the little daily things that make life worth living and I know how to put you in the right perspective. I have a huge financial mess where I make more money than most people but I pay out so much. Im heartbroken and sad for out two boys who love him so much. One of the biggest mistakes a wife can make with a husband in midlife crisis, though, is pushing him to fix things. This all may be true, but once the life goes out of the partnership, it takes a lot of work to cultivate it back to where it needs to be. I has been left with no rhyme or reason you can read my earlier blog. We were mature, grown ups We did that stuff and left that life long ago?? My husband left me after going into a two-week-long depression where he wouldn't tell me what was going on. I believe in you, life is what we make it. Like Ive said before and still need to remind myself: you dont want to be with someone who doesnt want to be with you. Because he was drinking. I cannot tell you how many exs I have that say they never believed I would ever leave. The very best i could do is tip toe and stear her away from the many triggers for her depression and rage. I been with my sons father for 8 years and throughout the whole 8 years he never treated me like a real person he always treated me like I was one of his friends and I never had the respect given from him to me but anyhow I stayed in this relationship it was rocky on and off I even left eight months in 2013 and he came back in 2014 of December and things have not been right every since I asked him cuz he have a history of cheating on me while we were in our relationship and always ask about other people were there at and why do you choose to keep coming back well I got a bit of a surprise in January of 2015 I was with him and that was the last time Ive been with him I found out that he have had a friend on the side and Im actually okay with that because the relationship has been rocky since the beginning so I just want to know why he didnt tell me straight forward that he was leaving me for another woman. Wow that sounds horrible, cant believe after all those years its almost like they could erase everything you thought they were fighting for for nothing. I am ashamed to have to say it but I can only accept what is and continue to try to be the best father I can for them each and every weekend when I get them. I only had him. I have full custody at the moment of our son for his safety.and all I think about is how to get my wife better so that she can come back and join the family. Been married 30 years. I kept with it as I felt so lucky to know someone so unique and incredibly desirable. Do not communicate with him as he will only confuse and hurt you more! So she waits and just ripps all he has from him while deployed knowing I had no chance. April 22, 2022, 1:05 am. Im fairly sure he had affairs, he cheated a lot before when we were together, lied so much, did drugs and lost his job while I was pregnant. They might stop eating or eat more to dull the pain. He explained he needed to find himself and deal with all the shitty things and pain he had caused to others. I was willing and able to do what it took, but he was committed to the fact that it wouldnt work. You have to take care. now i got to know of her infidelity causing her to move out of the house, leaving the 3 grown up children with me. I stopped 2 suicide attempts, had to commit her to hospitals until she got out of her dark spots. Its natural to feel that way. Ok, I believe you and I want to say how sorry I am for your experiences. He told me not to cry, he couldnt handle it. In doing that it was found that I needed a hysterectomy due to fibroid cyst were filling my uterus to the point that everthing else was pushed into my chest cavity! And apparently he was to busy to reply,really awkward as we know work together ( why did he take job Iif he was going to do this) so feel only option is to return his posessions as he wont give me an answer, have asked if he doesnt love me any more to just say, etc etc, know just want to move on but he obviously thinks its fare to leave me in no mans land ! During the summer he became distand and snappy with both myself and the girls, resulting in him going to work and coming . Let him feel remorse for a little while and give him the time to miss you and appreciate you once again. She has been exposing her private parts to men online.Right now she is in another state living in a hotel with a guy who is also married and she told me she is having sex with him.he told her he is leaving his wife.I have been hit with so many blows to my heart. I know for my own good I will have to pick up my shattered heart and live as if it never happened. Stay Focused, Pray, Keep Faith and Believe . I had no idea she had been this unhappy for such a long time. Your marriage can't be strong and peaceful if your husband is acting like he doesn't care. They are the only thing that matters now and the better the life you make for them the quicker you will heal. And if you talk to them about it, they might be able to help you get through it faster. Sooooo, put on your big boy pants and move the hell on. It takes a brave man to walk out on his wife and kids. maybe all you can do is find the best in good people and treat yourself and them with respect. Whens it supposed to get better? Three years ago, when Carol Moffa divorced her husband after, she says, putting up with a lot of "crap" over the years, she was downright scared. He gives away our clothes and the kids toys while i am at work, saying that we have to much. He has three kids I have two. She would tell me that she doesnt love me right now or not coming back right now. Note to self, pay more attention, and get reliable input from friends and family. I had no clue what was going on behind my back. He is the one who took the initiative to walk out the door because he thought he was unhappy within our marriage. I think the worst part is I feel like Ive had my heart ripped out with no closure, as I was left no explanation to her leaving, and pieced over the night that she hadnt been being honest with me about what she had been doing, who shes been seeing etc. it was no joke. This woman they will meet in August is the leader of the activist. I am going through another divorce with my business partner, she will be leaving my office October . As far as how your feeling, its the worst. Failure to touch. I dont know how youre not happy when Ive given you everything in the world I dont think youll ever realize what kind of devastation caused our family. His behavior is classic. You might feel like youre on an island all by yourself, but thats not true. I miss her deeply. Sleep induced by mess (legal) and a fetal position. I am because I see him for who he is and I cannot pretend anymore, and that is a problem. Its hard to keep it together plus take care of kids. Hey there all. Read more inspiring stories of single moms: At 7 months pregnant, I found messages online to a dozen women, telling them he hated me, wished I was dead. There is no weekends off. So made loads of effort to make her life more enjoyable. I was abandoned by my wife of 10 years this last April after I discovered her sexual affairs with several men. So just like you want to be loved and cared for, he wants the same thing. Being a husband and a dad every day. Of your. So how do you know that a mental illness is there? Girlfriend, wife, gay, witness protection program, priesthood, something. Maybe once I can accept that then Ill start to move on, at least from crying and feeling like I cant and dont want to even get out of bed. It sounds like hes pretty unhappy, and possibly with himself. "I felt as if the person I knew had died. I am lost. I should acknowledge I don't know the details. I love her so much, and have always been devoted to her, never lied to her, never cheated, never been controlling or jealous etc. We talked and decided to give it another try things were great at first l felt like a queen. I must be strong. We both came from dust and we shall return to dust. Its so sad that 6 minths after he one-sidedly decided that OUR marriage was over, we are already divorced. If you want a divorce its fine. Anyway things bumbled along for about 2 years then her new best friend decided to came on to me which I thought was a joke at first as that sort of thing never happens to me (my wife is the pretty one). I believe I have behaved exemplary throughout and my heart is broken. Her mum deals mostly with the kids from her side whilst she meets with her new guy spending weekends in hotels having great sex (apparently) whilst I am truly the single parent thinking about her having the great sex. 1. Your worth a lot more than a cheater. As a couple, its a very TOXIC relationship , the best one can do is to GET OUT and have NO CONTACT.